Saturday, June 25, 2016

Just the usual..

Its a beautiful day...
or so to me it seems like
just the usual really...
the rain...the hail and the sun.....all I had in one day...

I am sitting by my window...
the rain soaked glass still has some droplets..
as if the pearls etched....
the Thames below looks calm..but the waves are ferocious..
as if rejecting the ripples..that countless boats cause when they rush through...

The queen's swans are also here... in numbers they come
sitting by the ledge, opening their wings and letting the wind dry them...
or so it seems...
Till the rain strikes again and they give up...

The momentarily calm is again broken
its a city after all.. some including me...
would say the greatest of all..
the sirens, the hushed voices, the flying air planes...
just the usual really...

A bird will chirp again..
and the waves will make a noise again..
the swans as British as they are... will open its wings again ..graceful..
I will not be in city anymore then...its too calm it too natural to be a city...
but then...a plane will flyby..the momentary calm will be broken again..

anyhow, forget it..its just a city and like my mind..
its calm and its fierce..its loud and its quiet...
its confused and its sorted...

Its a beautiful day ...
just the usual really...

Thursday, December 17, 2015

May be I should...

Stop for a moment
Let this heart get stable
For now, I feel what the heart says
Is it in its deception?

What difference does it makes
If you are around or not
It should be nothing
It shouldn't matter
But, is it my deception?

There you go again
It seems to subtly matter
The smile, the presence around
Do you feel it? I think you do.
But, alas! It may just be my deception

I am confused
As I have been… always…
It seems, as if it is there; but not
May be I just should live with deception
May be I should ..

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Where I am home...

In moments where nothingness has a sound better than anything
In moments where galore of darkened clouds, is a sight welcoming
If being lost is a bliss in a disguise
If the spray of water has a stream in its stride
Its then and there that I have found the paradise
Its then and there I am me 

and its then 
and there that the echo of me sounds; 
from walls of mountains tall
Its then that I am home....

In dusk when the sun hides behind the mountains
And in dawn when it peeks from the shadows
When the stream of water cold threatens to stun the senses 

While the stones in the middle look inviting
Its then and there that smell of air fresh is refreshing
Its then and there that I am me
Its then and there where I am home....

In the fragrance of flower and grass
In the ambiguity of chirping birds
In the suddenness of snow and rain
In the satisfaction in a pot of tea hot
In the smell of woods and wind's gushing through them
It’s there, it’s then, that I am me
It’s then and there, that I am home...

In the happiness that touches the soul deep
In the laziness of an extra hour of sleep
I am here and I am me
In the mountains my soul seems to be
In time, somehow path will lead me there
In time, someday, I'll find the place where I am home...

Monday, November 17, 2014

There is not a word spoken

Through the clinched teeth
There is not a word spoken,
Nor even a look of the eyes
Nor a bend of the head,

But only a hush of the heart
That has too much to keep,
Memories endure upon the waking
Else, I sleep so light

I put a cap on my emotions
But every time, I look at you
My eyes exude them.
There is not a word spoken

I'll walk away, arrogantly I pride
I won’t turn around I pledge
But; once you are in sight
The heart sighs, to your service it rushes
There is still not a word spoken

Few words are said;
I can hear you from far behind
Oh! The music of your voice
My heart beats a tad too fast 

There is nothing more; love itself will keep it off
There isn't a word spoken
There won’t be

Few words are said, others left unsaid
This only is, the truth that I know;
To me love is….. Just you as is…

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

In your city

The winding roads, the smell of sea
Scarcely populated streets, the hot sun
I stumble in my way, kicking the sand
Unsure Why I am here
I should know by now

I've got open eyes,
And an open door,
But I don't know what I'm searching for.
I should know by now.

Patience, I tell me I have, faith comes along.
I have a big old heart and Love so pure
This I know for sure
But I don't know what to use them for
I should know by now

I'll wait here for a moment more
Till I can remember what I came here for
I can't leave now
Because in me I have a light that shines and hope that breathes.
But, I don't know how long I should have that for.
I should know by now

There is something in the air here
Answers to mystery it seems to have
The one I seek, the one that dragged me here
It’s in your city I am at,
It’s nothing else, but you I seek... I should have known by now...

There is nothing or
Maybe it's hard to find a reason, when all you know is Love,
Hard to see inside yourself when you can't see your way out,
It’s hard to find an answer when the questions would not come out.

You see all I need is a whisper in a world that only shouts.
And it’s in your city I am at, for the whisper of you
From the empty roads and lonely trees; from the scorching sun
And smell of sea. In your city from your city

You see, it’s you...only you I seek...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Will I crumble....

I am sitting awhile, under the starry sky
Head down, looking at the ground
Aimlessly; pulling on the grass and letting the sand soak in my hands
Wiping the eyes and thinking nonchalantly
Sighing, waiting for something to come
I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to laugh.

There is an eerie silence around
It has to be, I am alone and I am lonely tonight
My thoughts are weary, my soul's hurt

Something moves and I turn around
Wide eyed, still with sand in hand
It’s my shadow self that stands there, looking around
Noticing me, noticing it; it moves and next to me it sits
I look at him, it doesn't, at something far away it stares.

I lose interest, to the stars and thoughts I return

"So, tell me what’s in your heart?" it said, breaking the silence around
"Why should I?" I whisper back
Nothing happens; the silence becomes eerie again, before the shadow says again
"I am your shadow self, I am you, no more will listen, no more will say, but I'll be the only one"
I look up and see a tear in its eyes; I wipe it off from my own face

And say

"It kills me, for I said something to her, though the truth; but what if it hurt her"
My shadow dint moved and waited for me to say
"I love her, she doesn’t; I know. I am ok with it, but ....."
"I know" it nodded
"I can't be left alone. I ask only for time and nothing else"
"Have I missed something, have I done something wrong?" I asked
"I thought it mattered. I thought if you are true, if you are right, it all mattered" I shouted

My eyes are blood shot; they showed what the heart felt

"I know when I am taken for granted, she thinks I don't" I fake a laugh
"She is worth it all, she doesn’t understands, but she is worth it all" I say with all my heart
"I have been crazy, I know; but I am ready for more" I said, determine the voice became
"What do you seek? What are you after?" the shadow asks
"I seek the truth behind the veil; I seek the heart behind the wall"
"I...” my voice cracks
"I seek the truth in her"
"Am I asking too much? I deserve it, I know"
"I am here, I was always here, I intend to be always here...for her"
"Is this the mistake or is it how the world works" I say and am quiet

The shadow stares intently, as the night becomes a shade too dark

Then like a brother old, it stands up and leans on my shoulder and say
"Perspective differ, but truth may be true, the world may work the way it did"
"She might not acknowledge, she might not know, but have faith for she would"
"I know, it sounds hollow, I know the time is more; but to say the truth again, this is it...this is what life is..."
"All be sorted, all be done, for every deed you did good or bad. You will get the result here now or later"
"I know you love, I know it’s true, you follow your heart; for that's what you have done always"
"Just believe the mantra of Patience, Love and Faith. Rest be answered, rest be sorted" it finished

The night was gone, the dawn approached; I was quieter, sorted in sorts

“I am hurt, it isn't nice." I began
 I'll rejuvenate the faith though; I'll wait for the moment right"
"I'll ... I'll have the patience, I'll believe in love, I have faith....."
My shadow self smiled at me and said

"Be you...Love is there alright, but then there is its itself"
With these words it disappeared like it came
I pondered over the surroundings for a while
The birds were chirping, the silence dint hold anymore
Into the rising sun; I too moved, to face a day new....

Unsure, if I'll be able to hold on or into the abyss will I crumble....

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Until you come and sit a while with me

When I am really down
And my souls tired
The troubles come and my heart burdens me
Then I am still,
I am still and I wait here in silence
Until you come and sit a while with me
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly
Waiting; hoping for you to come
It’s been so long since I have seen you
And the distance causes only silence
Then, I think of you smiling.

I wonder if you would ever come
I wonder if all this be worth it
I wonder if you know I really tried
I wonder if ever I'll be free....
I'll be still and wait here in silence
Until you come and sit a while with me

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can’t tell dreams from truth
But, each of my heartbeats synchronize the skips perfectly
You must be here, you are here
I know..........
For my heart fills with wonder;
For my eyes shine, for I smile

 I am here, I'll be here
While you come sit here with me
I think I'll be smiling now...
Then, may be the wait is over
Then, may be the time has come
May be then, I’ll glimpse the eternity

 Into the spur the dreams might disappear,

But; till then, I'll be still and wait here in silence
Until you come and sit a while with me